Eat More, Talk Less

The sky was heavy and overcast, with a faint drizzle drifting down in a gray haze.

Li Xian came home exhausted and put her umbrella in the basket by the door. Just as she was about to push the door open, she heard a heated argument from inside. When she caught the two words “Bai Ruo,” her hand on the handle froze, and she stood there listening.

“So A-Li is married now, and look what’s become of it? A perfectly good home turned into this. Whether she likes men or likes women is up to her. She’s our daughter; she’s a piece of flesh that fell from my body. If you don’t care about her, I do!” Li Xian’s mother cried in anger.

“I don’t care? Young people do things without thinking about the consequences at all. Has she ever thought that decades from now, if she changes her mind, who’s going to pay for it? You saw it too; we already gave that actress the materials. So what happened after she learned everything? Do you see the two of them showing any sign of making up?”

Outside the door, Li Xian’s eyes flickered, and she kept listening.

“I picked out one promising young man after another for her, and she didn’t want a single one. She ran off abroad for IVF, then came back and casually dragged someone into a marriage. She’s just throwing her life away and turning the whole family upside down. Was I forcing her to get married? Was I forcing her to have children? I only wanted her to think a little more about her future and stop being so willful.”

Li Xian’s mother’s voice came next, tinged with tears. Neither of them seemed willing to stop.

Li Xian didn’t want to listen anymore. She let go of the door handle, only to feel a splitting headache coming on. Rainwater splashed onto the ground, soaking the cuffs of her pants; a chill crept up from her feet.

She opened her umbrella and stepped into the rain.

She wandered the streets alone without any destination.

Her father was right. She really had meant to throw caution to the wind; in a fit of revenge, she had married such a terrible man, just to tell them: Look, as you wished, marrying a man is nothing special.

She had caused the Li family to argue day after day; she had pushed Bai Ruo farther and farther away. She had thought about all of this long ago, only to naively believe she could control everything.

She had bet on ruining herself. In the Li family, perhaps she had won that bet; at the very least, they would no longer stop her the way they used to. But with Bai Ruo, she had lost completely.

“Li Xian, you can’t use love as an excuse to hurt someone however you want, no matter how many reasons you have.”

Bai Ruo’s words echoed again in her ears, each one carrying a condemnation she could not escape.

She shouldn’t have hurt someone who loved her so much for any reason.

Her body felt unbearably heavy. She wanted something to lean on, but there was nothing. Her steps unsteady, she stumbled toward a flowerbed and, not caring that the tiles were wet, sat down hard.

She reached out to touch her belly. It was as if everything she had done had become a joke.

Just as she was sinking deeper and deeper into her own thoughts, a pair of black high heels stopped in front of her. The woman standing there wore a black overcoat, her brows drawn tight, her expression complicated.

Bai Ruo had originally planned to go to the supermarket with Su Yan to buy a few things. On a rainy day, there weren’t many people out, so she noticed the woman sitting by the flowerbed at a glance. She had been wondering what was going on when the woman tilted her umbrella and Bai Ruo saw a face she knew all too well.

After the ginger soup was ready, Bai Ruo turned on the television and watched it, though her gaze kept drifting toward the bedroom from time to time.

Li Xian quickly changed clothes and came out. The heating in the living room was turned up high, chasing away the cold in her body and bringing a rare warmth.

She had once been able to keep this warmth forever.

“Once the rain stops, go home. I still have things to do later,” Bai Ruo said.

Li Xian lowered her eyes. “Mm.”

Her answer was very soft.

Bai Ruo couldn’t help looking at her. At this moment, Li Xian seemed so light that a gust of wind could knock her over.

The silence that followed made Bai Ruo feel uneasy. She got up and went into the kitchen; the ginger soup was already done, but after searching for a cup for a long time, she couldn’t find one. There was only the one she used to drink water.

She glanced at Li Xian. Her figure looked especially slight beside the large sofa. For an ordinary person, that might be fine, but she was pregnant; weren’t pregnant women supposed to gain weight? She didn’t look any heavier at all.

“There’s a drawer under the coffee table. See if there’s a disposable paper cup in there,” Bai Ruo said lightly.

Li Xian did as told, pulling the drawer open. There really was one. As she took out a cup, she caught sight of a stack of documents beside it, not in the usual file folder. She didn’t think much of it and closed the drawer.

It was precisely in that moment that she guessed what those documents probably were.

Thinking of her parents’ earlier argument, she subconsciously looked at Bai Ruo.

So Bai Ruo already knew...

That last shred of hope was gone too; to Bai Ruo, her reasons were nothing but lies.

Bai Ruo handed her the ginger soup. Li Xian took it and held the cup in both hands, saying nothing.

A phone call came in. Bai Ruo’s lips curved almost unconsciously as she answered it, but before she could speak, the other side started talking nonstop.

Li Xian watched her expression, and the pain in her heart deepened.

“Who said I wasn’t coming back? Have some conscience, will you? I’m practically starving. Why didn’t you leave me any food?”

Li Xian tightened her grip on the paper cup; her face was pale.

“Mm, more or less,” Bai Ruo said, glancing at Li Xian. “Nothing serious. I’ll be over in a bit.”

Only after she hung up did Li Xian say, “The rain has let up. If you have things to do, go handle them. I should head back too; I’ll wash the clothes and return them to you another day.”

Bai Ruo looked out the window. The rain was still heavy.

Li Xian stood up. Her belly was already somewhat prominent. Bai Ruo’s gaze moved up to her face. It felt like a very long time since she had last seen Li Xian smile. The Li Xian in front of her now was sensitive and fragile, so unfamiliar that she almost seemed like a different person.

The words kept rising to Bai Ruo’s throat and falling back again. It wasn’t until Li Xian reached the door that Bai Ruo finally couldn’t hold back. “Stay for dinner.”

“No need... ”

“Su Su’s cooking is really good, and everyone’s here too.”

Jingsheng.

Yan Yue was sitting on the sofa while Li Xian checked her legs. Qin Qingyan waited patiently beside them, brows knit, glancing from time to time at Li Xian’s serious expression.

Several times Qin Qingyan seemed about to speak, but she was afraid of disturbing Li Xian, so she could only suppress her feelings and keep waiting.

Bai Ruo came out after washing the fruit and saw this scene. Noticing Qin Qingyan’s anxiety, she walked over and said softly, “Don’t worry. She’s always like this when she’s working.”

After setting down the fruit, she went back to the kitchen to help Su Yan. After all, dinner tonight would take some time.

“There won’t be any big changes in the short term. There’s still hope, so don’t worry too much. Emotions have a big impact on the body too.”

Qin Qingyan nodded and remembered each word.

She glanced at the time. It was getting late, and she still had an ad shoot to rush back for that night.

She didn’t want to leave.

Now she was starting to regret resuming work so soon.

She had thought it would take at least a week or two before she could get back to work, but she hadn’t expected Director Nie to have kept her spot open all this time. For that endorsement deal, three or four companies had come fighting over the resources, only to be blocked by him alone.

Just that thought alone made her unable to let them down.

She glanced at Yan Yue and saw that she was using her hands to flex her legs, with no time to pay attention to her. Qin Qingyan sighed inwardly; fine, for the sake of her long-term standing in the family, she still had to go.

She hadn’t forgotten that she was still being petty, so she called toward the kitchen, “I’m leaving!”

Yan Yue looked up, smiled, and then continued flexing her legs.

No one in the kitchen answered.

Li Xian didn’t know what was going on, but she could clearly feel the strange atmosphere, so she stayed quiet too.

“I’m really leaving now,” Qin Qingyan called again, quickly shooting a glance at Yan Yue.

Li Xian smiled. “Go ahead and take care of your work. We’re here; it’s fine.”

Qin Qingyan looked back once, then again, then a third time.

“Qin Qingyan,” Yan Yue said.

Qin Qingyan’s eyes lit up.

“Don’t forget to take out the trash.”

Bang!

The door was slammed shut hard.

Li Xian sat down beside Yan Yue with a faint smile. “For a moment just now, I almost thought you two were fighting.”

“You could say that.”

“What happened?”

Yan Yue smiled. “She’s throwing a tantrum at me. Very obviously.”

“Then it seems only she’s the one losing out,” Li Xian said. “Qingyan should have thought about what you do for a living.”

After the joking died down, Yan Yue looked at Li Xian’s stomach. “Almost four months, right?”

Li Xian rested a hand there, her smile gentle. “Mm. In another month or two, I should be able to feel it move a little. Time really flies.”

There was a clatter from the kitchen.

“My lady, are you helping or making trouble? Don’t put in that much salt; it’ll be inedible,” Su Yan said, scooping out quite a bit of salt with a spoon.

Bai Ruo had been busy for half the day only to realize she hadn’t actually helped with anything. She argued, “A little bit, a little bit. What even counts as a little? Half a spoon more, so what? It’s not like we’re short on salt.”

Li Xian got up on this side and said, “I’ll go take a look.”

“What do you mean, is this about being short on salt? Should I dump in a whole bag? I’ll salt you to death,” Su Yan muttered as she stir-fried.

“I don’t usually do this stuff. How am I supposed to know what ‘a little’ is?”

Su Yan said, “Then you used to eat takeout every day? I don’t believe it.”

“Back then I wasn’t with... cough, someone was doing it.”

Su Yan gave her a look from head to toe, full of disgust. “Living off others and not lifting a finger.”

Bai Ruo was about to argue again, but when she saw Li Xian come over, she immediately shut her mouth.

Li Xian said, “I’ll help.”

“That’s more like it. Professional matters should be left to professionals,” Su Yan said. “Unrelated people, get out of the way. Don’t block me from showing off.”

Bai Ruo looked at Li Xian’s belly, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end she only huffed and left decisively.

Su Yan stole a glance at Bai Ruo, then smiled at Li Xian. “Just kidding. How could we let a pregnant woman do the work? I can handle it myself.”

“It’s not that exaggerated. A little help is fine.”

On the sofa in the distance, Bai Ruo watched Su Yan really let Li Xian help. Since she couldn’t say anything about it, she simply decided that out of sight was out of mind. If someone was willing to do it of their own accord, what did it have to do with her?

Yan Yue was leisurely watching a variety show while eating pine nuts. “You’ve been talking a lot today.”

Bai Ruo raised an eyebrow. “How so? I’m just speaking normally.” She picked up a fork and speared a piece of cantaloupe, chewing absentmindedly.

“You’re usually talkative too; today you’re especially deliberate.”

“Not at all.”

“This documentary is pretty good,” Yan Yue said. “Look, the peacock is spreading its tail.”

Bai Ruo had the feeling her thoughts had been exposed. She awkwardly scratched her head, then speared another piece of cantaloupe and ate it.

“You... ”

Afraid Yan Yue might say something else, Bai Ruo quickly bent down, grabbed a handful of pine nuts, and stuffed them into her hand.

“Crack these. Eat more, talk less.”